How to Cope With Embarrassing Feelings

Understand why your older child feels embarrassed and find ways to improve their self-esteem.

There are lots of practical ways you can help your child overcome embarrassing feelings. As adults, we know that embarrassment is a part of life. We might not like it, but we’ve learnt to deal with the feeling.

Children can find it much harder to cope with embarrassment. They feel everyone is watching them. As children go through puberty, they can particularly struggle with this emotion as they just want to fit in with their friends.

Some children seem less affected than others. For example, one child may not care that they have a low score on a test, while another will feel hugely embarrassed. One child will happily bare all in a public changing room, while another cowers behind a towel in case someone notices them.

Why do we get embarrassing feelings?

Embarrassment is a normal and healthy emotion. We all feel this way sometimes. It’s usually the result of making a public mistake and feeling judged by other people because of it.

Your child may feel embarrassed if they get something wrong, slip or spill something, or say the wrong thing. You don’t want them to stop feeling this way, but you do want them to recognise the emotion, and help them overcome the feeling.

Signs of embarrassment include:

  • Red cheeks and feeling hot
  • Avoiding eye contact
  • Feeling ashamed
  • Wanting to hide away
  • Thinking everyone is looking at you

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